I was 16-years-old when I realised I had ADHD coupled with Dyslexia. This awareness hit me hard, even though I wasn’t treated any differently by others. Something that came easy to others – breaking down a simple task into small steps – became my biggest weakness.

Even on the hardest of days, sports have always helped me cope with stress and fatigue and have always given me a lot of confidence. It has also allowed me to vent and express my emotions better. While throughout school it was Football, at university Rugby became my escape. 

For me, the best part about a game is the team and morale building rituals that take place before a game. It is the discipline of the game that helps you sustain it – a rule I follow off the field too. Sports gave me so much, including the companions I dearly call my friends.

Till about two years ago, I was living my best life. I was working at a pre-funded startup and playing for my city’s rugby club. 

Then the pandemic hit and everything came to an abrupt stop. I tried to keep myself busy and stick to the routine I had become accustomed to as much as possible. In this way, I believe I was running away from my personal struggles in the process – my anxiety, confusion, and coping mechanism with organisation skills. 

Alas! They all caught up with me during the last ten months, again! 

You might look for a resolution in this story but I don’t have one. Mine is an ongoing journey of unlearning and learning things about myself. I try to keep my head high and put my heart into the work I do and love. I recall the lessons from sports, mainly discipline and dedication and taking life one step at a time!

I realised how important it is to know when to ask for help and how underrated acceptance, humility, and humour are. Being a little more mindful of myself went a long way and continues to help. Sharing our problems doesn’t make them less significant, right?

It’s okay to share the weight. I still struggle with fundamental organisational skills and dealing with emotions but at the same time, I credit myself for the work I put in – on and off-field. 

I am working on this – isn’t that what life is?

This story is part of Zoman Says – a blog category, in which Zomans share personal anecdotes and their life experiences in a bid to inspire and contribute to community culture.

_{All images were consented and sourced from Pulkit Saraswat’s personal image library.}